Restaurant Etiquette: Graceful Manners When Dining Out

A lovely meal out is one of life's simple joys. Good food, pleasant company and a welcoming room make for a memorable evening. Graceful manners help make that experience enjoyable for everyone, from your dining companions to the staff serving you.

Restaurant etiquette is less about rigid rules and more about consideration. Here are the courtesies that help any meal feel refined.

Before You Arrive

If the restaurant takes reservations, make one, and arrive on time. If you are running late, a quick call to let the restaurant know is gracious. If plans change, cancel as early as you can so the table can go to someone else.

Dress to suit the setting. A casual bistro and an elegant dining room call for different choices. When in doubt, it is better to be slightly more polished than too casual.

Special occasions call for a little extra thought. If you are celebrating a birthday or anniversary, mention it when you book. Many restaurants are happy to help make the evening memorable.

Being Seated and Ordering

Wait to be seated unless the restaurant clearly invites guests to choose a table. If you are the host, let your guests be seated first and offer them the best seats.

Place your napkin on your lap soon after sitting down. If you leave the table during the meal, set it on your chair, and at the end of the meal, place it loosely beside your plate.

When ordering, be clear and kind. It is perfectly fine to ask questions about the menu or mention allergies. If you are a guest, take cues from your host about price range, and avoid ordering the most expensive dish unless invited to.

Graceful Table Manners

Wait until everyone at the table has been served before you begin, unless those still waiting kindly ask you to start.

Keep conversation at a comfortable volume so neighboring tables can enjoy their own evenings. Take small bites, chew with your mouth closed and rest your utensils on your plate between bites.

If something is not right with your meal, mention it calmly and quietly to your server. Most restaurants want the chance to make it right.

When dining with children, choose a family friendly restaurant, bring a quiet activity and tidy up any obvious mess before you leave. Staff and fellow diners will appreciate the care.

Courtesy Toward Staff and Others

Servers, hosts and kitchen staff work hard to create your experience. Make eye contact, say please and thank you, and be patient when the room is busy.

Get your server's attention with a small wave or eye contact rather than calling out or snapping fingers. Treating staff with warmth reflects well on you and your companions.

A phone on the table can signal that your attention is elsewhere. Keep it silenced and out of sight when possible. If you must take a call, step away from the table briefly. A quick photo of a beautiful dish is fine, but keep it discreet.

Handling the Bill

Decide how the bill will be handled before the meal if you can, especially in larger groups. If you invited guests, it is generally understood that you will pay.

Review the bill quietly and tip appropriately for the service and local custom. In the United States, tipping is customary in sit down restaurants. Settling up graciously ends the meal on a pleasant note.

A Lasting Impression

Restaurant etiquette comes down to respect for your companions, for other diners and for those serving you. With a little thoughtfulness, every meal out becomes not just delicious but truly gracious.